


Camilla and Tharja Swap Clothes

by robotortoise



Category: Fire Emblem Musou | Fire Emblem Warriors
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 09:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13187307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotortoise/pseuds/robotortoise
Summary: I'll give you three guesses as to what it's about. Go on.





	Camilla and Tharja Swap Clothes

“Robin?” Camilla frowned. “What makes him so special?”

“Well… His dark aura is enticing, for one. He’s handsome, devilishly so, and he has a cunning wit that makes any genius look dull. He possesses an allure like no other.”

“He doesn’t sound that great,” Camilla said.

Tharja frowned. “Excuse you.”

“Oh, well, it’s just that in comparison to _my_ darling Corrin, he’s rather dull. My dear sister Corrin’s beauty is no match for Robin… or even my feminine charm.”

“I said ‘excuse you’, not ‘excuse me’. You need to apologize to me. Now.”

“Dear,” said Camilla, wearing an expression of mock pity, “I am not apologizing to _you_ , of all people, for a _lie_ , of all things! No, I am going to stand by the truth.”

“Me, of all people?” Tharja’s brows furrowed, and her lip curled. “What on earth is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, darling, but you’re dressed rather…” Camilla snapped her fingers. “…provocatively.”

“You’re wearing less than I am. Do not claim to be better than me.”

“Oh, but sweetie…” Camilla ran a finger through Tharja’s hair; it was quickly batted away, and Tharja growled. “I rock it.”

Tharja fumed.

* * *

 

“Her outfit is _not_ better than mine,” said Tharja in a low growl.

The night was young, but Camilla was tucked away in her tent. Lianna was nearby, and smiled brightly.

“Hi, Tharja!” said Lianna.

“Not now," said Tharja.

“Sheesh… Okay! Talk to you later, then!” Lianna waved and trotted off.

Tharja turned to the tent Camilla was sleeping in. She moved her fingers up and down, and a pale mist expelled from them, encompassing Camilla’s tent.

“Excellent,” she said, and she crossed her fingers over one another, grinning widely.

* * *

 

Tharja awoke with a wide smile. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable. So…  _Camilla-like_.

“It worked,” Tharja said, and she felt the pathetic excuse for clothing that she had on. The breast armor had been magically melded to fit her form, and she stood up, noting that it wasn’t particularly comfortable for her to do so. “This is… awful,” she said after a moment. “Gods, why does Camilla dress like this?”

 _“You,”_ Camilla’s voice rang out in a guttural growl. A battle axe ripped through Tharja’s tent like butter, an enraged Camilla on the other side. “What did you do to my armor?!”

In Tharja’s outfit, Camilla looked… Well, Tharja wasn’t one to compliment another woman’s beauty, but _oh gods she looked even better than Tharja_.

“How do you look better than me?” Tharja whispered in-between clenched teeth.

“Better than you?” asked Camilla. She looked Tharja up and down. “You look better than me! How in the _world_ do you make the breast armor look good with your wimpy chest?”

“It is most decidedly not,” growled Tharja. “But you… How are you able to make my stockings look stylish with your large thighs?”

“Thick,” said Camilla. “The correct term is _thick_. Which is what I hope your skull is, because it’s about to get a taste of my axe! Oh, what a delight your cries of anguish will be to hear!”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Tharja’s hand glowed orange and she pointed it at Camilla. “En garde!”

“Hiya, guys!” said Rowan. He looked to Camilla and Tharja and his face turned red. “H-hey, T-Tharja. C-Camilla.”

“Rowan.”

“Rowan.”

A lump formed in Rowan’s throat. “U-uh, I like the outfits?”

Camilla looked the boy over – his flushing red face had given her an idea. “Wait, before I kill you,” she said.

“Before I kill you, you mean,” corrected Tharja.

“I want to wear this for the day,” said Camilla.

“What?” asked Tharja.

“W-what?” asked Rowan.

“Look, it’s obvious the stupid boy likes it.” Camilla pointed to Rowan, who really looked like he had to use the bathroom. “If this dope does, then imagine what my darling Corrin will think!”

“Yes, yes…” Tharja grinned. “I like this train of thinking. My Robin will be so utterly entranced by my body that he will have no _choice_ but to fall head over heels for me!”

“T-that sounds…” Rowan looked between the two. “Uh, what am I doing here again?”

“Silly boy,” said Camilla, and she strutted past him. She jiggled as she walked, and Rowan’s eyes were glued to her like moths to a flame.

 “Heh heh heh…” Tharja giggled and strutted off, surprisingly firm and perky in her outfit. Rowan's eyes continued to ogle.

“Uh…” A droplet of drool fell from Rowan’s lip. “What just happened…?”

**Author's Note:**

> OchreJelly inspired this.
> 
> From: https://twitter.com/robotortoise/status/946527158570180608


End file.
